Fat Acceptance Encourages

I have this fabulous postcard on the cork-board in my kitchen.  It’s called ‘Feminism Encourages’.  It’s a sepia-toned scene with two women in old-fashioned bathing suits standing in a forest clearing,  hugging each other and laughing.  There’s a quote underneath which is one of my favourite quotes of all time:

Feminism encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians.

Everybody who comes into my kitchen reads it and guffaws.  Oh, things were so lol in old fashioned tiems!  Then they read the attribution, and the date. 1992.  “What?  WHAT?  Are you fucking kidding me?”  Ah, ridiculous bigorty, you never fail to bring the lols.

I kinda want to make one of these for fat acceptance, with all the ridiculous, outlandish accusations that get levelled at this movement.  How about:

Fat acceptance encourages people to leach off society, kill all boners, eat two whole cakes, force feed skinny folk baby-flavoured donuts, and become immobile.

I’m sure someone feeling more word-smithy than me can come up with something cleverer.  Have at it!

9 Replies to “Fat Acceptance Encourages”

  1. I love the postcard (I want one!) and your “Fat acceptance encourages… ” is pretty fabulous too.

    Hmmm, I’ll have a go, the more the merrier huh?

    Fat acceptance encourages people to eat a big bowl of crazy, convert all their friends and family to fat, and use up all the food in the world, every crumb of it, so that nobody else gets any.

    1. Those selfish fatties. If it weren’t for them, there’d be no hunger, no global warming, and I would never have to look at someone I didn’t want to fuck!

  2. I long for the day when I see a sensationalist headline proclaim: “Fat Feminist Eats Capitalism!!!”

  3. I’d be happy to bake a big ol’ layer cake for the photo on the postcard. My cakes are teh yum, too, albeit a tidge on the sloppy side visually.

    I well remember when Pat Robertson said that. I also remember wanting to find him and kick him in the nuts for saying it. Then again, I look at some of the things he’s said since and think we feminists got off relatively easy by comparison… even if that was a big ol’ bowl of crazy he was chomping on at the time. Still, compared to some of the things he said in the wake of Hurricane Katrina, etc, it could have been worse.

    Besides, it does make a kickass postcard of irony.

    1. We would need two whole cakes, of course. Mmmm, caek…

      I’d honestly never heard of Pat Robertson until I found this card (which is a few years ago now), and I’m not really aware of what else he’s said (being in Australia and all). I find it horrifying and incomprehensible that anyone could say these things for real – I think I just read them as deliberately ironic in order to avoid the need to blow up the world.

  4. Fat Acceptance encourages people to eat whatever they want whenever they want, to wear clothes that force other people to look at the shape of their body, to dance or walk around even if they jiggle and wobble, to (gasp) have sex even if they have soft and squishy flesh in the WRONG places, and to be seen in public as if they are not ashamed of how disgusting they look. It is SCARY INDEED. No one is safe from the fatties THEY WILL EAT EVERYTHING and SIT ON US ALL.

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